I want my life back

I'm just glad it wasn't me who paid for this. Another one we chose from the infamous top 20 DVD releases in ASDA that appealed to us with its 'super awesome' cover art...

Dark Island (2010)

The premise: 'After losing contact with its researchers on a remote island, a military corporation hires a group of scientists and soldiers to find out what went wrong. When they arrive, the team quickly discovers that experiments performed on the island have unleashed a powerful and deadly entity that will stop at nothing to destroy them all.'

What we actually got: A dull and uninspiring cast with bizarrely uniform nasal voices running around a miserable Canadian island interspersed with some truly hilarious shots of pseudo cold blooded military personnel discussing things in a dingy office. Every now and again they are terrorised by some sentinent black dust.

I wanted to hate them, it would've made this whole viewing experience more enjoyable for when they started dying stupidly and horribly, but I couldn't even force myself to care enough. 

So many of the scenes in this film felt like shoddily made remakes and direct lifts from other films; ye old assembling of the 'crack team' of scientists and experts with 'clashing' personalities, (read stereotypical; the beardy mysogynist, the Asiatic expert in combat, the plucky female scientist etc) before shipping them off to a secret island used for military weapons testing to squabble and flail about miserably before causing each other's deaths through incompetence and deception.

The scariest thing about this film was probably the opening scene, but then that fails miserably as soon as the cast start speaking. There's some really quite tortuous dialogue that kills anychance of tension building. Another thing that stopped any tension whatsoever is the editing of the combat and action scenes. It zips about all over the place, with random close ups of random body parts. This is coupled with a soundrack that just doesn't fit, doesn't serve any purpose apart from to be irriatingly disonant from what you're seeing.

I'm going to try and pretend I didn't waste my life watching this. 

Grade:

Stupid ASDA.....

~Aim